I Don't Know and That's Okay

This post was inspired by the following video of the late Richard Feynmen's thoughts on how scientific knowledge only increases and deepens our appreciation of this universe and his willingness to acknowledge his ignorance without being frightened of the unknown, but never ceasing to doubt and ask questions in order to shed new light on those same mysteries. 

     

Science is the most complete tool ever created by humans to discover facts about this cosmos, yet there are still many mysteries which it has not yet been able to solve.  This leads to my main point about Feynman's thoughts and where I completely scream in unison with him, "I don't feel frightened by not knowing things, by being lost in a mysterious universe.."  I look up at the stars and seemingly endless sky knowing that I or the human species will not answer all our questions about existence, consciousness, and life during my limited years on this planet.  I will state out loud or inwardly, “I don’t know” much, much more than “I know”.  It saddens me that so many of my questions will be not answered before I am enveloped in complete and utter darkness for eternity, but it does not frighten me.  I no longer accept the answer of “God did it” to avoid my ignorance, but instead search for evidence based and rational explanations for my questions.  I acknowledge my vast ignorance, but will not embrace or nurture it.  I embark on this humanist path with science as one of the powerful tools to lead me. I am not afraid.  

Natural Teachers

Recently, I have been thinking how I can raise my children with a humanistic outlook on life. After some thought and reflection, I have concluded that they are teaching me how to live in a more humanistic way. Here are some recent examples which led me to that conclusion.

My four year old son, Pierre, loves to ask why, what, and how about everything he encounters in his path.  At times I have struggled to give satisfactory answers to some of his questions and respond with a honest “I don’t know”.  Sometimes I have given him answers which I feel are foolproof, but after his relentless questioning I realize that I do not have a solid rational foundation for some of my answers.  A couple of days ago while Pierre and I were folding my clothes he really challenged me for the better.  I was showing him how to fold my shirts and pants, but he did not want to do it my way.  He told me, “I want to do it a different way”.  At first, I tried to beat him in the head with the notion that daddy knows best and follow my way to do it correctly.  He refused to do it my way and I finally gave in and waited for his imminent failure.  I was shocked to see him take a completely different approach and still end up with a perfectly folded pair of jeans.  He looked at me proudly and stated, “You see daddy, I told you I could do it.”  I praised him and told him that I had been wrong. The pride on his face was priceless!  

My one year old son, Paolo, has also impacted my understanding of raising children to appreciate the humanistic approach to life.  Yesterday, we went to the local park and he went on his first swing.  He relished each swing back and forth and laughed with contentment during this new experience.  He was enjoying and embracing that present moment for all it offered and not allowing anything to distract him from the joy it gave him.  Earlier that same day, he ventured outside of his room and crawled across the whole house to the living room stopping along the way to enjoy different objects on his path.  He could not help but explore and examine what he considered interesting along his way. He and his brother, Pierre, naturally express the following quote on a daily basis:  

“Humanism is, in sum, a philosophy for those in love with life. Humanists take responsibility for their own lives and relish the adventure of being part of new discoveries, seeking new knowledge, exploring new options. Instead of finding solace in prefabricated answers to the great questions of life, humanists enjoy the open-endedness of a quest and the freedom of discovery that this entails.”¹

These precious moments with my children allowed me to understand that I am likely to thwart and retard their natural humanistic methods by enforcing my predetermined answers onto their worldview.  I need not worry about instilling and guiding my children toward adopting humanism as their guiding life philosophy because they are naturally born as humanists and express all its values with no outside indoctrination.  They have displayed a life approach which includes critical thinking, curiosity, and an open-mindedness toward discovery that I don’t incorporate enough in my life.  It is me as an adult, who has been groomed to believe that there exists one right answer for every question, that needs guidance and assistance in recapturing my natural inheritance of humanism.  I thank my children for enlightening me and I pledge from this moment forward that I will focus on solely cultivating and encouraging the development of this natural, life affirming attitude of my children and value any lessons of humanism that they bestow on me.

What have your own children or children in general taught you about embracing life and humanism?

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1 Fred Edwords, What is Humanism, http://www.americanhumanist.org/Humanism/What_is_Humanism (1989 & 2008).
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Let It Be

The following is a post from my old blog at Think Atheist.  It contains a humanist message which I would like to share again.  I hope to post new material within the next week.

I have a family member who has turned their life into a more positive and healthier direction in the past year.  This person’s change in behavior coincided with their increased faith in god and overall commitment to the Christian belief system.  During the same time period, I was going through a change (still am) in the opposite direction toward agnostic atheism and loss of faith.  I had started to disclose my lack of belief in a divine being to some family and friends.  This disclosure led to debates and disagreements with a couple of my friends and family.  Yet, I deliberately chose not to disclose my disbelief to this particular family member at this time.  Why?  Personally, I did not attribute his personal change to the power of prayer or anything that Jesus/god has done for him.  I believe that this individual has been given positive, loving, and strong support by a spouse and father and in tandem with his own determination, focus, and maturity has been able to make this beneficial change.  I could have shared my thoughts regarding faith and god and boldly claimed that god was a myth and that the bible was not inspired by a supernatural being, but I did not want to become a possible stumbling block on his path to personal improvement.  Likely I would not have convinced him that his belief system was a sham, but what if I had?  I could have caused him to question what he believed to be the primary reason for his progress and in shaking this foundation of faith I could have started a sudden crumbling of his positive change and a regression into the past which he fought so hard to escape.  Those possible consequences were not worth it for me to just prove a point or win a debate.  He had changed for the better and it did not matter if it was due solely to his faith in god or the support and love of humans.   What mattered is that he HAD changed.  Do I wish he and those who helped facilitate this change would take credit for this accomplishment?  Yes!  Do I still have hope that eventually he will shed the unnecessary cloak of “righteousness” and instead proudly wear his natural cloak of humanity? Definitely!  But despite my desires, I am happy for his change and new direction in life.  In this type of situation, I believe it is best to just provide support, love, and encouragement.  If he chooses to praise God and profess his faith, then let it be.

So what is my point in sharing this story?  Life is too short to spend it trying to convince others that their view of reality should resemble our own.  The developing and nurturing of our connections to others is what I believe to be the best use of our precious time.  This is not the easiest of tasks for some of us (like me), so we can’t be wasting our energy arguing and being divided by beliefs.  Believers and nonbelievers alike should cherish our families and friends no matter what we think about their belief system, even though I believe this to be more of an issue for believers than nonbelievers.  Our differences in philosophies or perspectives of life should fuel great discussions and debates, but they should never be barriers in our love and connection to each other.  I know I would be disappointed and feel like I wasted my life, if on my deathbed, I remember more debate victories than intimate moments with my loved ones.  That would truly be sad.

There is nothing wrong in pointing out beliefs based on poor reasoning or thinking, but let it be after we greet that person with a handshake, kiss or warm embrace.  Let it be after assisting that person with their needs.  Let it be after we share a drink or some quality time together.  Let it be after we explore and share our life passions.   Let it be after finding common interests that inspire us. Let it be after we share what connects us all, our humanity.